5 Tips to Develop a Stronger Bond With Your Kids

Do you wish you could improve the kind of relationship you have with your kids, but you don’t know how to start? Keep in mind that it’s not enough to tell your kids you love them. The most important thing is to prove your love through your actions, and make them feel how much you care for them every single day. By applying these practical tips, you can create a stronger and closer connection with your children.

1. Motivate and encourage them.

Kids form their perception of themselves based on what others say about them. With this in mind, you need to encourage them and make them realize that they are inherently good people who are worthy of respect and love. In everything you say and do, let your kids know that you’re always on their side. After all, it’s impossible for your children to consider you as their friend if all you tell them are criticisms or harsh words. When you make them feel like the worst person in the world, you will lose your leverage with them.

2. Teach them the value of respect.

Respect should be mutual, even with your kids. As you set limits and policies, you should do it with empathy and consideration of your child’s feelings, as well. For instance, if you tell your child to talk to you in a respectful manner, then you should do the same thing to him or her. When children are treated with respect, they will also learn to be considerate of others’ feelings, as well. After all, it is not enough that you set rules for your kids to follow; you also need to serve as a role model who abides by these policies you have created. By respecting your children and treating them with dignity, you will also earn their respect.

ID-1001621623. Daily interactions can help you build a strong relationship with your kids.

You don’t need to do something special or go on an expensive trip with your kids just to create an excellent relationship with them. In fact, every interaction you have with them helps build a relationship, so you need to be constantly aware of how you treat or relate with your kids. Carpooling, grocery shopping, or any other regular activities matter to kids as much as that heart-to-heart talk you have with them when they have a problem. Hence, you should contemplate about any recurring interactions with them when you handled a situation negatively. Constant nagging and criticizing only cause relationships to fall apart, and you have better things to do than to spend each day in a state of frustration.

4. Communicate with your kids regularly.

Do you pay attention to your kids when they prattle on and on about their friends and other preoccupations, even when you have a busy schedule or other important things to do? If so, then your children are likely to confide in you about other serious matters when they reach their teen years. Although it may be difficult to listen to them intently when you need to do your chores or attend to your other concerns, two things happen when you keep the habit of ignoring them. First, you miss that golden opportunity to learn more about your kids, and they develop a notion that you never really listen so they will lose interest in talking to you.

5. Learn to let go of negative thoughts and emotions.

What do you do when your teenager slams the door out of rage, or your three year-old tells you she hates you? While you may be tempted to shout back at them, or blurt out nasty words to your enraged child, the most sensible thing to do is to avoid taking these things personally. Keep in mind that their actions and words are not exactly about you – it’s basically about them and their personal issues. Your angry kids may be unable to control themselves and they are still immature to express or make sense out of their emotions. When you choose to take their words personally, you will only feel hurt and decide to lash out, which can only make this tough situation worse than it already is.

When confronted with your kid’s negative words and actions, you should take deep breaths, let go of the hurt, lower your voice, and leave the room to give yourself and your child some space. In addition, try to recall how it feels like to be a child who is extremely upset and unable to restrain his or her emotions. The idea is to act out of love and understanding instead of anger.

Bottom Line

The most essential component of developing a strong relationship with your kids is your state of mind. Although you may have a demanding job and a million other responsibilities to handle, make it a point to prioritize your children when they signal a need to talk. When they feel that other things matter more to you, then they are likely to look elsewhere for acceptance and attention. Unfortunately, that will be your loss, as much as theirs.

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Speak Up, Speak Now: The Family Communication 101

ID-10076946Have you ever wondered why some people find it difficult to open up? Why do some people end up saying the wrong things even if they mean well? Why are some people overly confrontational, while some seem overly defensive?

The truth behind this has something to do with their family background. Yes, you read it right. Although it would be best to understand at this point that I’m not pointing fingers on who’s to blame; rather, it is to enlighten everyone that the way your family communicates with each other has an impact on how you relate with other people later on in life.

 

OPEN THE COMMUNICATION LINES

People whose families are open and communicate a great deal have little difficulty in communicating with other people. They tend to adjust easily to the behavior and attitudes of the people around them since they tend to correlate these people with the members of their family. Write it down, call your mom or dad, talk over dinner; keeping the communication lines open encourage your family members to say things which please, delight or even bother them. This also helps them understand other people better.

 A bossy co-worker may not be as insulting to a person who gets along well with an equally demanding older sister or brother; this person will have more patience to deal with this kind of treatment. However, the same co-worker may be quite irritating and insulting for someone who has no siblings, may be spoiled by parents who have little time to spare with him or her and only had the household help to talk to. This is the reason why some people get along easily well with others, while some seem to keep on hopping from one group to another.

LISTEN WELL

The ability to listen to your family members also helps you cope with different demands and needs of the people around you. When we say listen, it means you stop and understand what that person is saying, refraining yourself from making any comments or remarks until such person is done. At this point, personal bias is set aside and the person’s needs are put in first. This helps you realize that there are other people who need your help, and that it is definitely not always about you, your needs and what you want. It’s a fair way of rotating the stage so that everyone gets to say their piece and be really heard.

 A person whose voice is rarely heard at home may be over anxious to share details about his or her life so much so that even those which need not be shared are said simply because he or she is craving for that kind of attention and freedom. To suddenly have a group of people hanging on to his or her every word may be an overwhelming experience for him or her. The problem with this is that these people will keep on talking even beyond what is expected from them. On the other hand, people who are more confident of themselves and have people to share their thoughts with are more mindful of the things they share and say. They are more careful with their words, and may be better at keeping secrets.

 

SPEAK UP

Don’t be afraid of talking to your family whenever something bothers you. The fact that they’re your family makes it enough reason for you to say anything and everything in your heart. Remember, families are supposed to support, understand and love each other no matter what, so your fears about getting rejected, judged or ridiculed are unfounded. However, this doesn’t guarantee that they won’t get hurt, annoyed or possibly angry with what you have to say, after all, they are people, too. But the point and most important thing here is that they are the ones whom you can ultimately trust and count on.

You see, it all boils down to giving people a chance to share what’s inside their hearts and head. The pressures of everyday life is more bearable if you have a family (or even friends!) that’s open and supportive of whatever it is you have or are going through. It is true that the family is the most basic element of the society, and that family is the one responsible for rearing an individual who is responsive to the needs of people around them. Complete trust and openness is the key to a healthy relationship which, when fully developed in a person, will definitely enable him or her to communicate well with others.

 

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